Relationship before Business / Busyness

Yesterday, a dear friend and mentor of mine said something that has been lingering with me ever since. This was her comment, There comes a time when relationships are more important than business. It’s that time.” This comment meant a lot to me in that moment, given these particular circumstances, and it continues to mean a lot more and has led me to share this with you today.

One of the major influences in my work, my coaching, my leading and my life is a philosophy, training, mindset, life stance and model named, “Co-Active.” There is no strict definition to this philosophy – there are many. To learn more than I can or will say here today, have a look at CTI’s website in the link above. The piece that I want to take from it and share with you today is related to the comment above.

This concept alone – relationship first – will completely and fundamentally change where you put your attention and ultimately change your work experience, your marriage and your family.

So much of where we go wrong (or when challenges escalate and become more and more challenging) occurs when we put our attention only on the job to get done, the problem to be solved or the unwanted behaviour to be managed. When we get down to business or get so caught up in our busyness, we forget to see the human being in front of us, the human being that we are and the relationship we have between us. We can get fixated on this and lose site of the people we are working with, the quality of the relationship that we want to create, the vision that we hold together – the purpose or reason we are even doing what we are doing in life and work.

If you want to free up time in your busyness and create some ease in your business, try shifting your attention to the relationship first. Here are a few questions to get you started:

  • what is the quality of the relationship right now compared to what you want it to be?
  • what do you and the other people involved want and need?  {don’t assume – ask and be open to listening, hearing and truly seeing the person/people in front of you as people (including yourself).}
  • where do you align – what is your shared vision? what do you care about together?
  • what else does it mean to you to put your relationship before business and busyness?

Make this shift and watch things soar.

Kristen Bentley